The Old Me Must Die (An Open Letter About My Divorce)

I’m writing this as a grateful goodbye.

The old me must die.

I’m not sure how to say this but you deserve to know: over the last year, I’ve been going through a divorce.

I love her. I’m grateful for our 8 years together and our two beautiful children. But here we are.

And over the last year, there’s been many times I was so confused about all this I drank a bottle of wine and punched my pillow until I collapsed.

Now I realize the pain has only lasted as long as I’ve held onto it.

Clinging to thoughts that I’ve failed… like:

What about my kids?

How can I protect them from all this?

What if this destroys them?

What did I do wrong?

How could I fail like this?

But those thoughts originated from the old me…

And Today’s a Good Day for the Old Me to Die

The old me had lost hope – the hope that the best is yet to be, the hope that fuels happiness, the hope that drives me forward.

And without that hope, I felt paralyzed. I was sleeping late. Many times I didn’t have the energy to fight the day. Most days I felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel – like I was completely stuck in cement…

And then one day I began to understand something: I didn’t lose hope… I surrendered it. I gave it away in the face of life’s circumstances.

But more importantly, I realized that I could choose something different: that hope was simply a choice in my life.

And that’s why the old me must die.

Because I’ve been here before…

Like 5 Years Ago, When I Wrote My Will

Back then I was sick as hell. I’d done everything the Doctor’s told me to do and nothing worked. As I got sicker… I lost hope. I gave it away to my circumstances. And without hope, I didn’t believe I’d ever get healthy. Something had to change…

The ‘sick me’ had to die.

And so it did. I chose something different. I chose to have hope.  I chose to start the Specific Carbohydrate Diet.

You know the rest of the story.  I got better.  I continued to have hope, moment by moment.  And my entire life changed.

And here I am back to that gut-wrenching feeling… being without hope. This time it’s different. It’s not life threatening. But it could be more important.

For my kids…

For my health…

For my ability to help you get healthy…

I know this feeling. I’ve lost hope before. And that’s why I know the old me must die, again.

Knowing When the Old You Must Die

When you lose hope, your heart becomes sick and the will to carry on becomes a struggle. Without it… life shuts down.

Those that give up don’t just quit, they’ve lost hope. And if you’ve ever lost hope in your life, you know how this feels.

In those moments when there’s nowhere to turn, you must look inside. You must reach down into the deepest parts of you and realize hope isn’t lost… it’s simply been surrendered.

More importantly that means you have the choice to take it back. If you can recognize this, then you know the old you must die.

Because we have the choice… but the strength to let go of the old you and choose something different can be tough. Knowing when the old you must die isn’t easy. But the time will come when you’ll be faced with this choice to either give up… or reclaim your hope.

What will you choose?

Today I recognize the old me must die (again).

And together, we can share in this moment and all the emotion that comes with it.

It’s one thing to talk about poop with you… but it’s another thing to open my heart about something I’ve been keeping private for the last year.

But in this vulnerable state… I have to ask you:

Are you ready to choose hope in the face of adversity?

…to make room for a happier you? a healthier you? for the ‘sick you’ to die?

Hope is your fuel. With hope, you can overcome anything life throws at you. Today, I’m letting the old me die (again).

Will you join me?

How to Let a Part of You “Die”

It’s like diving into the ocean; there’s so much movement, yet if you truly let go and surrender, the water will support you and you’ll float to the top.

If you fight and struggle with the water it can beat you down and steal your breath.

Reclaiming hope is about surrendering the old you – letting go of the part of you that lost hope and starting new…

Today, the old me must die because I choose hope and greater possibilities in front of me, greater health, more laughter, more love, more joy from being a father, and more fulfillment helping others get healthy.

With hope, each day gets better and better and the will to carry on is endless.

If you’re reading this and feel like there’s no hope, things can get better. I encourage you to let the old you die. Choose something different. Choose hope. And if you haven’t yet, choose to start the Specific Carbohydrate Diet like I did 5 years ago.

If you need encouragement to get started, our book can help.

Thank you for reading this. I’m grateful to open up to you.

– Jordan